The other day I came across an entry in my journal, dated 4 January 1973:
One is alone, and in the end one must go into that inner room, close the door, and face the four reflecting walls that speak back to one. Is the sin against the Holy Spirit that of the individual who refuses to grow, to accept reality and the possibility of change?
A quote I have carried since we met so many decades ago “the Timid Incapacity to risk the Pain Suffering and Loss without which there is No Growth”. So many hard losses. Hunkered down and waiting for the new shoots to reach toward the Sun. We will meet again soon in the Garden.
We need to learn how to trust change and not fear it. When we joyfully greet the sunshine on the garden we embrace the change that it brings and understand the dark beauty of winter. I often think about James and “the ageless guardians” of Joseph Campbell. The last time I met James it was the summer in his garden. This is where I see him now and this helps me to open the door to that room.
Not all change is good, nor need it be whole-heartedly embraced. James seems to urge caution and to realise this only too well: the question mark at the end of his last thoughtful sentence suggests this. Go forward bravely, yes, but I doubt if he’s urging uncritical acceptance.
This is a wonderful reminder that we cannot avoid change! Something that James opened my eyes to.
Change is the reality we live in. We may fall flat often but then remember….! If we truly want to allow ourselves to grow as God’s children, to accept change is our Way, and his constant Presence with us is the good ground of our becoming.
I always think of James and his gardens; his love of nature and am deeply thankful for his eye-opening friendship.