Today would have been James’s 95th birthday. He died quickly and peacefully at home just a fortnight ago, on a warm Autumn evening, 26 October, comfortable, cared for, and surrounded by love.
Continue reading 11 November 2022
Alone
In the UK some seven million people live alone, and of these approximately five million, aged seventy and over, report that they have only the television for company. As Mother Teresa of Calcutta wrote, ‘I know the greatest suffering in the world is being lonely, feeling unloved, just having no one. I have come more and more to realise that being unwanted is the worst disease today that any human being can experience.’
Each of us can make an effort to reach out to those in our neighbourhood who live alone, especially the elderly. The small book TOGETHER was produced by members of our meditation group and shows the value of people coming together in groups to share their stories and experiences.
Into the maze
One of the reasons people shy away from silence is because it is often in those moments that our demons rise to the surface: hidden resentments, jealousies, lust, rage. Like Theseus we have to enter our own maze to confront various minotaurs if we are to grow as individuals. Sometimes this may necessitate having some form of therapy or analysis to work through deep-rooted problems. As a first step it may require that we sit patiently with the uncomfortable feelings, acknowledging their presence in our lives. Only when we have sorted out the many pieces of our individual jigsaw can we begin to grow towards the person we are meant to be, to become whole.
The path
Not knowing
I want to quote the following from Thomas Merton which underlines what the last two blogs have been about:
Lord God, I have no idea where I am going, and I do not know the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself … but I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you … I hope I will never do anything apart from that desire … Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
The continuing journey
Many people believe that at death, when we shed our physical body, the spirit is then freed to travel on. In other words, the journey continues, but now into worlds of unimaginable beauty, wisdom and wonder. Although we have no scientific proof of this, deep down, for myself, at the level of intuition, I have no doubts that this is so, which is why I have no fear of dying. Once, years ago, some words came to me in a meditation – which I had calligraphed by John Rowlands Pritchard and which hang on a wall in my bedroom: ‘God is an endless journey.’
As in nature
Just as in nature a plant grows, withers, seems to die, and is reborn … so Nature teaches us to wait patiently, knowing that Spring is always on its way.
Another year
I don’t know if the phrase ‘school of life’ is still used these days, but it suggests that our life is made up of a series of lessons and that, hopefully, at the end we may pass the examination! The simple practice of meditation enables us, when we hit a major setback, not to despair, but rather to ask what we have to learn from this experience.
The ending of the year
In former times it was customary to light a candle in the window as a signal to any passer-by that in that house there was a welcome. We, too, can mark the winter solstice and the return of light by choosing a few friends, or even strangers, with whom to reflect on the past year and what lies ahead, seated around a candle, perhaps sharing drink and a little food, then a quiet silence of reflection by everyone present.
Being there
One of the fruits of meditating is a greater tolerance of others. It sometimes happens, even with close friends, that one of them will suddenly turn on us, or seem to reject us. It is then all too easy to withdraw and break off the relationship – unless we learn to recognise that our friend is nearly always projecting onto us some problem of their own. All we need to do is bide our time, keeping the relationship open. As a former Abbess of Stanbrook Abbey once wrote, ‘What a mystery is friendship. Some we have to carry, while others carry us.’ This is what Jesus meant by inviting us to love our neighbour as ourself. We are all journeying men and women and need to be there for one another.
Through the looking glass
When we look in a mirror we become aware of the many changes made by age. But when Alice in Lewis Carroll’s story looks in the mirror she sees another world into which she enters. And so it is through the simple practice of meditation that we cease being self-preoccupied and discover another and richer world within ourselves. We also begin to see others as themselves and not as projections of ourself!