When it becomes impossible to meditate

When a loved one walks out of our lives, or a beloved parent, child or friend dies, the pain is so overwhelming that it is impossible to meditate. Nor should we attempt it.  We have to live with the pain, endure it, talk aloud to ourselves, go for a long walks, weeping all the while, and talking also to the loved one who has gone.  Which is worse? A loved one who walks away from our relationship, or one who dies? There is no comparison. In each case something in us also dies.  All we can do, especially if we want to avoid the pitfall of self-pity, is to endure the pain, talk about it, and slowly, slowly, work our way through it. There are no easy answers and the journey is different for each of us. It also takes time. The important thing always to remember is the good things we enjoyed with the person who has gone, and what we have learned from them. Then, slowly, we can begin to move on and it becomes possible once again to sit in silent meditation, drawing from the deep well of healing within each one of us.


6 thoughts on “When it becomes impossible to meditate”

  1. It has been almost two years since my great Friend Ira died. Hearing him play with Dizzy Gillespie the first time changed my life forever. Over the years our Friendship grew stronger and stronger and we had many memorable adventures together. I haven’t been able to listen to Jazz at all. Son if it pops on the radio. Scrabble tiles make me weep. I keep waiting for his voice over the phone. Yesterday, I listened to one of his recordings for the first time. Perhaps soon, live Jazz. It makes my heart open. Peace, or more pain? One candle can pierce the darkness

  2. Thank you! Dearest James,
    Each loss is different, each offers new routes to travel through, but I find myself nodding again. Comfort, truth, wisdom and love in every word.
    With my love and all blessings dear James,

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